April 13, 2008
...
Its still bugs me though…
Had a successful BBQ dinner on Friday nite…never been so relax, as most of the things sapphire house gals did…and not to forget TY’s mum n dad, and maids…
Rite after the dinner, 4 cheer gals overnited at my house…so ‘shuang’ o… 4 leng lui sleep at my bedroom…wahaha…it was a bit pack as Jr, KY, n XJ oso overnited as well…imagine 8 ppl in one room…that nite broke record…as the most amount of ppl sleeping in my room before were oni 6…
A bit sad that some cudn’t come…a bit sad that I am still this way...a bit sad that I still have “some” things to do…the term a bit really means a bit…
____________________________________________________________
Have I finally figured it out?
That I sud let it be…not doing anything…coz there’s nothing I can do…is this the way to the solution?....i don’t wan…I feel myself letting go a little by little…as I know how happy she is without me…I will jus erase myself out of her life…and in a month o two, there’ll be no more m’leong in her dictionary at all…
Why am I holding on? Holding on to someone that already have someone taking care of her…wudn’t it be better if I just let go, as our minds and thoughts differs…we wudn’t be happy even as such little mix-up is killing me now…how to live on later?
To change myself…to suit her…suit her thinking…make myself think more mature…the more I think about it…the more immature I get…I become…if what I am now isn’t what she likes…then why sud I change?...i want someone that sees me…and is proud of who I am…
Of all the people I meet, I find her the one that isn’t even interested in the things I do…I never draw myself to close to people who are like that…but why her?...of all the one I fall for…they could at least see a spark in me…but why not her? Hasn’t she love me before?...who she really love, me or another someone that looks like me?...huh?...
Or maybe its coz she sees the real me that she can’t accept, and what she’s doing make me can accept it as well…that’s it…that is it…I am still the one to blame…
I am really a useless fool…I sud look into the mirror and see that fool looking back…
Had a successful BBQ dinner on Friday nite…never been so relax, as most of the things sapphire house gals did…and not to forget TY’s mum n dad, and maids…
Rite after the dinner, 4 cheer gals overnited at my house…so ‘shuang’ o… 4 leng lui sleep at my bedroom…wahaha…it was a bit pack as Jr, KY, n XJ oso overnited as well…imagine 8 ppl in one room…that nite broke record…as the most amount of ppl sleeping in my room before were oni 6…
A bit sad that some cudn’t come…a bit sad that I am still this way...a bit sad that I still have “some” things to do…the term a bit really means a bit…
____________________________________________________________
Have I finally figured it out?
That I sud let it be…not doing anything…coz there’s nothing I can do…is this the way to the solution?....i don’t wan…I feel myself letting go a little by little…as I know how happy she is without me…I will jus erase myself out of her life…and in a month o two, there’ll be no more m’leong in her dictionary at all…
Why am I holding on? Holding on to someone that already have someone taking care of her…wudn’t it be better if I just let go, as our minds and thoughts differs…we wudn’t be happy even as such little mix-up is killing me now…how to live on later?
To change myself…to suit her…suit her thinking…make myself think more mature…the more I think about it…the more immature I get…I become…if what I am now isn’t what she likes…then why sud I change?...i want someone that sees me…and is proud of who I am…
Of all the people I meet, I find her the one that isn’t even interested in the things I do…I never draw myself to close to people who are like that…but why her?...of all the one I fall for…they could at least see a spark in me…but why not her? Hasn’t she love me before?...who she really love, me or another someone that looks like me?...huh?...
Or maybe its coz she sees the real me that she can’t accept, and what she’s doing make me can accept it as well…that’s it…that is it…I am still the one to blame…
I am really a useless fool…I sud look into the mirror and see that fool looking back…
// posted by curious @ 3:31 PM 
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