March 21, 2009
only love myself
I just want to love myself, for I only love myself more than anything.
I can’t see myself as important in your eyes, and I cant see myself either as I stand in front of the mirror.
Where have I gone? And what has happened to me? Or is it me all the while, just that now I start to see myself much more clearly as everything is seen through.
That I only love myself, and myself only.
Kindness doesn’t equals to care, nor does care equals to love.
Even if I care and be kind, would it mean that I love as well?
I really can’t see this heart, as it only beats for itself.
Too easy for it to fall for a person, too easy to care, too easy for it to break, and too easy for it shatter.
Too easy to start, and much more easier to STOP.
Why act tough? Why pretend each time as if nothing has happened? Why do I still smile? Why do I continue the things I do? Continue live this way… for what am I doing all this?
I ask this questions…but where does the answer lies?
For what reason I have to care? To be kind, to concern, to all…and suck up all sorrow and pain from the outside to the inside. I just want to go away, and as I thought I am away, all comes back to me. Just when I start to feel happy, all of it comes back to me. Hitting me so hard, I find it so hard to even breathe.
Just too short the period, but after all that has happen, the sting in my heart is so unbearable.
I see that gap, and maybe letting go will turn things back to normal. I don’t want to see you far away. Just let things unwind as I move back. Please don’t pull me back in when I start to walk away. Don’t pull me back in, cause my heart can’t resist it.
As strong as u r, I know, don’t change too fast, as how I am altering.
Why so much things have to happen this period of time? Why suddenly in high spirits, and suddenly in such appalling mood. In the end misery covers up all joy.
Is it that hard to be ME again? Be that once again ever so free thinking me. Just after form 5, I could not see myself again. I can’t go back, I can’t move forth. As that incident hit me so hard, I’ll never that innocent and naïve again.
Again not being able to cry out loud, and let tears roll down hurts even more than to cry. If I could just cry. I want to…cause I really can’t breathe anymore.
I can’t see myself as important in your eyes, and I cant see myself either as I stand in front of the mirror.
Where have I gone? And what has happened to me? Or is it me all the while, just that now I start to see myself much more clearly as everything is seen through.
That I only love myself, and myself only.
Kindness doesn’t equals to care, nor does care equals to love.
Even if I care and be kind, would it mean that I love as well?
I really can’t see this heart, as it only beats for itself.
Too easy for it to fall for a person, too easy to care, too easy for it to break, and too easy for it shatter.
Too easy to start, and much more easier to STOP.
Why act tough? Why pretend each time as if nothing has happened? Why do I still smile? Why do I continue the things I do? Continue live this way… for what am I doing all this?
I ask this questions…but where does the answer lies?
For what reason I have to care? To be kind, to concern, to all…and suck up all sorrow and pain from the outside to the inside. I just want to go away, and as I thought I am away, all comes back to me. Just when I start to feel happy, all of it comes back to me. Hitting me so hard, I find it so hard to even breathe.
Just too short the period, but after all that has happen, the sting in my heart is so unbearable.
I see that gap, and maybe letting go will turn things back to normal. I don’t want to see you far away. Just let things unwind as I move back. Please don’t pull me back in when I start to walk away. Don’t pull me back in, cause my heart can’t resist it.
As strong as u r, I know, don’t change too fast, as how I am altering.
Why so much things have to happen this period of time? Why suddenly in high spirits, and suddenly in such appalling mood. In the end misery covers up all joy.
Is it that hard to be ME again? Be that once again ever so free thinking me. Just after form 5, I could not see myself again. I can’t go back, I can’t move forth. As that incident hit me so hard, I’ll never that innocent and naïve again.
Again not being able to cry out loud, and let tears roll down hurts even more than to cry. If I could just cry. I want to…cause I really can’t breathe anymore.
// posted by curious @ 12:34 AM 
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