April 29, 2009
being cool
Being cool. (I hope I am doing what I am saying)
I’ve not find her since last wed. I don’t want to put her into my mind right now actually. I want to go on my days without any hindrance.
I’m excited about tomorrow by the way. I’m going back to school to get two awards for academic excellence. It is not a usual scene because I don’t get many awards for academic excellence. haha.
But it is heart pounding to get the award for best subject and best student in STPM. I shouldn’t be so proud coz there ain’t many competitors around. I should say that it was easy without ex classmates like Queen B, CY, RE, and yah you know who u r lah…
Most of my classmates are in Science stream anyway…
It is killing me that I am going into a school that now sees me as a monster playboy. I won’t feel as welcome or as belong as I did before. The girls, the staring eyes of those who knows. The atmosphere will be as if I am standing there alone in a corner, while everyone will just stare and whisper softly to themselves.
The very place I should feel belong now has become a place I least want to enter alone. Even if my heart wants to see her the most, Now I don’t. There may be still girls that are close this monster. But my heart wants to be close to you know who. They have created a huge wall for me.
The worst part is, these little girls have talk of false gestures of me in front of the others. Spreading stories far from the truth. Where do I stand? No power in me to stop it for I started it. I want to hide myself. But why do I need to? How could I shut those f***ing mouth.
I can’t say anything coz I am really a sucker. I can’t mind what they say now, even if all this is bringing her further away from me. I just stand here. I don’t have to prove anything no more. Doing nothing is the best thing. The more I do, the messier it gets.
I will stop blood from flowing rapidly for I need to stop this heart from losing more blood. Really need to restore my strength, my faith, my dignity.
That’s what I have to do.
// posted by curious @ 3:29 PM 
Comments:
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Wow, congratulations! :P Too bad i'm too faraway to say to you personally.
"I should say that it was easy without ex classmates like Queen B, CY, RE, and yah you know who u r lah…"
does it include me? [hehehehe, perasan moment lolz]
hmmm, please say congrats for me to all the students taking prizes [people I know of coz, dun go and randomly say to ppl 'Shirley wishes to congratulate you bla bla...']
hish school is already past. uni is the future! :P
"I should say that it was easy without ex classmates like Queen B, CY, RE, and yah you know who u r lah…"
does it include me? [hehehehe, perasan moment lolz]
hmmm, please say congrats for me to all the students taking prizes [people I know of coz, dun go and randomly say to ppl 'Shirley wishes to congratulate you bla bla...']
hish school is already past. uni is the future! :P
# posted by 
: 3:37 AM
: 3:37 AM
hehehe, yes, it does include u as well..
we're having a gathering this may, so i will tell them k..
haha, uni! here we come!!
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we're having a gathering this may, so i will tell them k..
haha, uni! here we come!!
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