April 24, 2009
just hate laa~
If hate is what it has become, then hate la…
I have no power over anything. I should say I could not even control my own emotions.
I always say use my brain, but I end up using my knee when it comes to relationships. Why is it so hard for me to relax? Why don’t I enjoy it like I do when I was with S?
If she wants to hate me, let her be, coz now I hate myself even more than she does. I can’t ask for forgiveness, nor could I say anything actually. The more I blurt out, the more stupid I get. The more movement I make, the messier it get.
As you can see another move more, the knife cuts in deeper. The wound bleeds even more unable to be healed. I should lay low from the beginning but I keep on running and running faster towards her. I tried to walk but I always end up running after her.
If I say I feel nothing now, actually I really don’t feel a thing. I just want to go back to enjoy my life. I don’t want to add misery into myself, and I don’t want to make her hate me more. I am just tired and more exhausted.
For me, the pain of hating myself covers up her hatred for me. So I can’t feel a thing now, just living my life with friends around me and enjoy the moment that passes. I really hope I can do what I am saying. Coz saying really ain’t enough. I keep banging into the wall again and again.
Let it be, just let It be…I don’t want to care don't want to hear don’t want to know…
See myself in the mirror…Owh~~ so beautiful~~
// posted by curious @ 1:38 PM 
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