May 15, 2009
why am i not happy
I don’t know why, but it is bugging me. Why do I have to logic so much? I am the type that loves to run away from unhappy things and made sure I turn my back on it.
I may be upset and overwhelmed by something bad that happen, but I usually get over it. I really hope that you all see that. If I put a smile on my face, please respect that it is really a smile. How fake that smile may hinder my sadness, but it isn’t easy, so don’t pull me back down which question of concerns. I hate!
If one day I keep quiet, and don’t say a word, and if one day I look different than the other day, don’t come to me and say what is wrong? How are you feeling? And the most hated and ‘pantang’ phrase is “Are u ok?”…
Hey, if I am really ok, ur such question make it feels that like I am not that ok…meng meng, I am ok de..u ask like tat like I am crazy…ish~~…words of concern it may be…but for me, It makes me remember that actually there’s something wrong and I have to think about it…
Maybe this is not the best solution, but escaping all sadness is my way of life, and my key to survive.
I’d gone through many downturns this year…but I am up and going. I am putting down the pain. If I am hurting myself with actions that I should not do…please let me be…I will feel better that way. But if my actions hurt other people, tell me fast, tell me quickly…sometimes we may be blinded and can’t see well.
I led my life all this way all the while. Don’t change me, coz I am really happy with myself. Don’t forget I am a talkative and always tell others about unnecessary things. If I am feeling sad or what I do tell it out…I don’t keep it all to myself often.
If I miss, I miss. If I love, I love. If I don’t like, I will say. If I am unhappy, I’ll mention.
Thanks for friends that concern so much, and for those who know how much I lost, but without lost, we won’t appreciate the things around us more, and without lost, we won’t find that we have much more. Losing things is sometime a growing pain, but who don’t lose anything?
The passage of cure through pain is the most important thing. Dwelling on what we lost isn’t gonna get us anywhere ok?
Fake now I may be, but I am not hurting anyone and I am happy with myself.
// posted by curious @ 11:32 AM 
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Fakeness, is the key to survival sometimes. Its something I've painfully learnt here. So, it might be the best solution to yourself as well.
I won't ask you if you're ok or not, I don't expect an answer. But I hope you take care of yourself and don't mistreat your body okay? Stay fit and keep your body shape!
[sorry... i working no time to read the past blogs..]
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I won't ask you if you're ok or not, I don't expect an answer. But I hope you take care of yourself and don't mistreat your body okay? Stay fit and keep your body shape!
[sorry... i working no time to read the past blogs..]
# posted by 
: 1:06 PM
: 1:06 PM 
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